All the news the New York Times "forgot" - to print

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Sox and Generals...

Above: A Red Sox Nation General mustering his troops

PETER NORTON of the Boston Globe has an amusing piece on Red Sox Nation's efforts to succeed from the union. Here's a sampling:

VOTING WILL get underway shortly in the New England states on whether to secede from the United States of America. The new country would be named Red Sox Nation and would comprise Massachusetts, Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Rhode Island, and most of Connecticut.

Red Sox owner John Henry, who initiated the hastily organized referendum, said that he was not a sore loser. "This has nothing whatever to do with the defeat of yet another liberal Massachusetts politician with aspirations for national office. I'm just tired of living in such a bitterly divided country. My goal is to create a new nation where everyone can agree on something."

Polls show that 97.3 percent of people living within the borders of the proposed nation root for the Red Sox. Members of the New England Patriots football team and New England Revolution soccer team were quick to endorse the measure. Sales of bumper stickers, such as "Don't Blame Me, I'm From Red Sox Nation," have been brisk.

Senator John Kerry, a long-time Red Sox fan, said in a statement that he would vote for secession and would even vote to authorize the yet-to-be-elected president of the new nation to go to war if necessary. On the other hand, Kerry said that if there were a war, he would oppose it and vote to deny any funding whatsoever.

While Kerry has ruled out running for president of Red Sox Nation himself, numerous local politicians, sensing home field advantage, have formed exploratory committees, including Michael Dukakis, Howard Dean, Joe Leiberman, Niki Tsongas, Mitt Romney, William Weld, and half a dozen Kennedys. Political pundits, however, speculate that the top honor is most likely to go to a member of the Red Sox team

(Tash says the best is at the end).

Friday, July 29, 2005

"Mighty Mouse is on the way!".. what else would he do?...

Aww... the wonder of being able to fix things others can’t . A couple of weeks ago my sister was sad and distraught over her running machine being broken.(the running machine go under the alias of the “thing a ping” because of it’s sure cycle of parts springing and breaking away). Well being in a deep state of despair, misery, anguish, torment, and distress she decided to cry out for help, assistance, aid and support. “Tash to the rescue!”(!!) As the ‘Mighty Mouse’ used to say(I think…) “Here I come to save the day, Mighty Mouse is on way!”). Needless to say the running-thing-a-ping was fixed in a few minutes of back cracking pain, and put back together. And for my efforts I received in payment a ride (from my grateful, thankful, pleased and gratified sister) up to Foxboro to watch the Patriots training camp.

{Tom Brady and trio playing volleyball in hopes of making the 2008 Olympics team.}

Of course by now remembering that I am ‘Tash’, you know of course that I really don’t need to “ride in a car” to places, because of course, being Tash, I can fly. But I thought that myself flying in to training camp might frighten the players so I opted out of that plan. Pus, once regaining their senses they might throw footballs at me or do something else unspeakably frightening and dreadful. (Wrote with sarcasm). So up we go in the belly of an ‘iron beast’. And I can telll you right now, it’s nothing, snuffing, like flying.

{"Hey! who superglued this football to the ground?"}
Just as a last note, I got autographs from 2005 Super Bowl MVP Deion Branch, 2002 and 2003 Super Bowl MVP Tom Brady, David Givens, and a couple of other players. I also took a few pictures.
{Doug Flutie, a dwarf among giants.}

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Current Events

It’s a gorgeous sunny Saturday, and all are busy at work or play, I myself reading upstairs in my room. Knowing all of our vehicles are present and accounted for, I am surprised at the sound of a car approaching. Glancing out the large front window of the second floor, I watch as two men stop their car – not able to go any further, as our truck is oddly parked perpendicularly across the driveway - exit the car, and approach our house. I recognize one of the persons as an elder son in a large family we know, but thinking that there must be others downstairs to greet them, I return to my room and resume my studies. Little did I realize what was occurring below me.

Downstairs the doorbell rings. My mother and sister, Lillian, are at dining room table eating. My sister, frustrated with the carelessness with which our younger siblings have been ringing the doorbell lately, places her hands on her hips, and donning the ugliest possible facial expression, stomps over to the door. Her anger accumulates as she grabs the door handle, flings the door open, and loudly slams it against the adjoining wall. With her eyes closed in intense fury, she begins to punch her fist high in the air and point in no general direction at all, and with her face fiery red, begins to scream. “You got to learnnn…!!!!!!!!!!!!!”………….

Then, opening her eyes, she glances up to see two bewildered men standing in front of her with their jaws dropped open in total amazement. Suddenly, Lillian, overcome with a feeling of paralysis, manages to stutter, “uhhh, welllllll ehhhh soooooo uhhhhhh pleeeease ohhhhhh meeeee mmmmmyyyyyy commee innn uhhhhhhh oohhhhhhhh”???????? (My sister, later accounted to me, that during this entire episode, our mother continued to calmly eat her sandwich as she looked on). As the men entered the house, still bewildered and possessing frowns on their faces possibly due to this recent experience, they follow my sister who leads them into the dining room to our mother. As my mother greets them, she calmly explains, “Lillian is a little upset with the baby’s recent doorbell ringing”. By now the other unidentified man has been recognized as being the pastor of a church we had visited. And Lillian, figuring that both these men must now consider her to have serious mental problems, retreats to her bedroom upstairs where she collapses in a chair and enjoys a good long laugh.

Meanwhile, as the men are talking with my mom, they are suddenly interrupted as another sister, Grace, enters the dining room. She had been busy removing the tags on our new deck furniture, the whole while singing as loud as possible to her hearts content. As she opens the back door which leads into the dining room, she stops in her tracks. Startled at the sight of two tall men standing in front of her, who now look more bewildered than ever, she chokes a vocalization and gives a strangled cry, darting past them she runs up the stairs - passing another sister, Amanda, age four, who is repeatedly yelling “I’m going to wear my new swimsuit! OK”? Grace, stopping shortly to try to warn her about what lays ahead, gives up in despair and continues her trek upstairs to join Lillian in her laughing fest. Even though neither of them knows what the other one thinks is so funny.

Thus ended another normal day at our house, with all returning to their particular jobs at work or play, and we continue to live on. - Conrad

Monday, July 25, 2005

The Last Battle

The True Chronicles of Narnia
From a fair and unbiased point of view
Aaaaa… Yes I am worried. There’s been a monkey thrown into our logging expedition in the newly acquired area of Narnia. Everything was going so well, almost too smoothly. Everyone was so strangely cooperative. Whenever we would ask our trade agent (an ape, it’s hard to find anyone in that area that will work with us.) to get us this or that, all he does is take his friend, a donkey, and dress him up like a lion. He parades him around, and all the animals obey him. Very
strange… well anyways this ape got a contract for us to log some of the woods near our border with them. I had a bad felling from the start about involving my self with them [Narnians]. I hate their repressive regimes, where all because an animal can talk it is seen as on the same level as man. Simply revolting! I’ve done my part to try to straighten them out. I gave them a loving queen who loved her subjects so much that she let them stay in her palace all day without asking them to leave. In fact apart from her being overthrown she would have let them stay forever. I gave them a kindly king who kept stability in the empire by keeping the animals in their rightful place; the dinner plate. I’ve tried everything! Every single plan I’ve made though has been fouled up by a bunch of kids and a lion. Four kids actually, nobody knows where they come from. All we know is that their trouble makers. The lion is called Aslan, though he’s nothing to worry about. He’s so old that the joke is that he saw the world when it was first created. He’s done. He’ll bite the dust soon, mark my words. I have a bad feeling about the kids though. What if they were to come back…?

Going back to the logging story, the reason we had been logging was because lord Tarkamoon wanted some lumber for his new (and 13th) palace in Carsornoon. He said he had every thing under control, and I granted permission. This morning just after the city gates where opened, a messenger came from the work area with a report of a murder. Apparently one of the groups had been attacked by a crazy man and a horned horse. Two of the loggers were gruesomely killed. (My heart goes out to there families…) Later in the day I received news that the attacker was none other then Rummert, king of Narnia. He surrendered to some of my forces peacefully with his horse. (The horse will most likely be put to sleep). This changes everything… Perhaps this is an opportunity to finally take Narnia... The conditions are perfect. No king, the country is split over our logging - and this Aslan, and I hear that the dwarfs are unhappy with the situation in which they live… Strike while the iron is hot… “Captain Reeeeettuu!” I roared.

The captain ran into the room and fell prostrate to the floor. “Yess myyy lordd?” he said shaking in fear like fish out of water.

“Give the message to commander Tissunaman to deploy all horse men, foot troops and battle horses to Narnia. And tell him not to leave anybody behind. I want this to be the last battle.”

To be continued…

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Heart -breaking...

I just watched MBL's 'World Series" DVD the last night and it made me want to throw up. We were that close to winning! Only one out away. It makes me ask the deep theological question of “why”?? The answer I believe lies in the fact that the best team (the Yankees, otherwise know as America's team) can't always win. And of course the "Dirty Sox" won’t always lose. And as a Yankees fan, I can accept that the Red Sox will win a world series every 88 years. That’s fine with me. So as the picture shows, 1918 is history, but so is 2004. Enjoy it well you can... Because this year the empire strikes back...

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Another bombing attack in London...


There have been reports of another bombing(s) attack attempt in London today. The attack seems to be less extravagantly planed this time,(one bomb just blewup only the bombers backpack according to eyewitness) which leads me to guess that it could be the I.R.A(now unlikly) or crazy Islamic bomber/martyr wanabe this time. As far as I know right now, there have been no deaths or injuries... I just found out that two suspects have been detained.

London life goes on.

Thanks to for use of picture.

Unreal Sports transcript 8/14/08

UnReal Sports with RuMeem Max

Host: “Welcome to Unreal Sports, I’m RuMeem Max. And tonight for our guest panel on their lives and sports we have 2008 presidential hopefuls Senator John Kerry, Senator John Edwards, Senator Hillary Rodman Clinton, and Senator Joe Biden. Glad you all could be here. Starting the questions with John, I’am sure people are dying to know; what’s your favorite team or sports moment.”

John Kerry and John Edwards: “Are you talking to me?”

John Kerry and John Edwards: “Sorry”

Host: “John Kerry please, sorry.”

John Kerry: “Hmmmm… My favorite team or sports moment, hmmm… Do I have to go first?”

Host: (host nods yes.)

John Kerry: (searching in suit pocket for poll sheet). “Oh! Found it. My favorite team is any team in Florida or Ohio; especially the Ohio State Wolverines. And my best sports memory was sitting in the Fleet Center watching the Boston Bruins defeat the Buffalo Sabers in the 2005 NHL World Cup Super Bowl. It was such an uplifting moment for me. The reason I love sports.”

Host: “Thank you John. John two, it’s a mystery to most people as to if you even care about sports. Prove us wrong, enlighten us.”

John Edwards: (nodding with vigor) “As yous’ alls knows, mys farther was a mills worker whos workeds days ands nights tryings tos protects his family froms starvation."

Host: (nodding mournfully)

John Edwards: “My father, loved tos watch football whens evers its was ons, ands hes was not working. Ones ofs the most vivids memories I haves ins mys minds today froms my childhood is sittings arounds thes TVs watchings intentlys as Joe Montana threws a home run to Tim Brown ins thes 1976 super bowl. Just rememberings thes moment brings tears tos mys eyes.”

Host: “And your favorite team is?”

John Edwards: “The AFL Ambulance Chasers.”

Host: “Hmm, thank you John; and we will be back in a moment with Sen. Hillary and Sen. Biden on UnReal Sports after a word from our sponsors.”

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Roberts must be good if Kennedy is scared of him!

Kennedy is apparently afraid that John Roberts is pro-life:

"During the nomination hearing for Judge Roberts' position on the Court of Appeals, Senator Edward Kennedy said:

I am concerned about Mr. Roberts’ efforts to limit reproductive rights as a Government lawyer, his advocacy against affirmative action, and Federal Environmental Protection Laws in his efforts to shield states from individual suits, and to limit Congress’s ability to pass legislation regulating state conduct in the name of the states’ rights."

Source: Wikipedia removed entry. See Senator Kennedy's statement on Roberts.


Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Monday, July 18, 2005

Newport's cliff walk

Friday, July 15, 2005

Teacher Ted.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Laid back New England.

" Northeasterners are politer drivers than New Englanders (I'm sure somebody will try to challenge me on that one!)"

Ok... That is so not true. Somebody from the New England area, tell me the last time you saw a vehicle driving over twenty miles per hour anywhere. It just doesn’t happen.

People on the east coast are just really laid back. We just sort of sit around and watch grass grow. In fact I am offering a seven dollar bill to the first person who spots a car going over 30mph. “Yippee! Yoo-hoo” What a deal!

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Massive Suicide?

Crazy Sheep.

450 Sheep Jump to Their Deaths in Turkey

The Associated Press
Friday, July 8, 2005; 9:59 PM

ISTANBUL, Turkey -- First one sheep jumped to its death. Then stunned Turkish shepherds, who had left the herd to graze while they had breakfast, watched as nearly 1,500 others followed, each leaping off the same cliff, Turkish media reported.

In the end, 450 dead animals lay on top of one another in a billowy white pile, the Aksam newspaper said. Those who jumped later were saved as the pile got higher and the fall more cushioned, Aksam reported.

"There's nothing we can do. They're all wasted," Nevzat Bayhan, a member of one of 26 families whose sheep were grazing together in the herd, was quoted as saying by Aksam.

The estimated loss to families in the town of Gevas, located in Van province in eastern Turkey, tops $100,000, a significant amount of money in a country where average GDP per head is around $2,700.

"Every family had an average of 20 sheep," Aksam quoted another villager, Abdullah Hazar as saying. "But now only a few families have sheep left. It's going to be hard for us."

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Ted: Sitting in our living room waiting to grow old enough to die.

What shall I say then, shall I continue to not update, that silence may abound?

Nothing to write about... I didn’t want to have two pictures in a row. So I had to break it up with something.

I was thinking of writing a fictional conversation between William F. Buckley, and a New York street dude on an elevator, but was not really inspired to do it. So it probably won’t work out unless someone ghostwrites it for me. Which sometimes happens, me being in a large family with a lot of people to assign writing work to (Penny bribes them with candy). About one fourth of the comments written by ‘Tash’ are really written by someone else other then ‘Tash’; which is why I sometimes say when writing ‘I (Tash).

There’s an interesting story on Drudge about some 35 people trapped when the Washington Monument's elevator stalled about 120 feet up. You have to feel sorry for them, but think about the great story they could write about their experience on their blog’s… Some people just get lucky.