All the news the New York Times "forgot" - to print

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

When will the world blow up and other trite thoughts

The answer to the first question is - tomorrow. Yes folks. Tomorrow is your last day on earth.


I am current selling plots of land on the moon for any of you out their that wish to live (at least till our oxygen runs out)!! And even more - they only cost a measly $5,000 a square foot! A pure steal! Contact me before I change my mind and just save all the space for me, myself, and I. What do you have to lose?

Tash is not responsible in any way shape or form to actually get you to the moon once you have bought space. You are required on federal law (CA12: IO59) to provide your own transportation. Tash is not required to keep any deals made – whither verbal, implied, or in writing. Please read our entire policy after you sign to this deal.

In other news! If your feeling like you just can't keep blogging - well then you need some encouragement! This is the site for You.


Friday, March 24, 2006

11 months and 13 score days ago, our benevolent dictator Tash brought forth this great blog...

First, two things: In about 13 day’s Sns New’s becomes a one year old! I’ve almost lasted a whole year! Yes!

Secondly, I finally go the website I’ve been looking high and low for. You see, I really am limited as far as what I can do on this blog because of the setup/template. And as some of you have often wondered I’m sure – what kind of name is “Sns News” for a blog. So I in my kindness and benevolence have decided to rename the site.

(drum roll please…)

“As the CEO, President, Dictator, and Head Editor of this site I official rename the formally so called “Sns News” – SNS NEWS.”

(Loud cheering and applause)

O.k. It’s not too big a change…

Regarding the new site, and its impact on this site: I’m not going to change at all the way I post here. I’m just going to put some of the stuff I normally won’t put here such as sport news, news, and other news on the new site. I am also putting some debate stuff – which I’m sure you’re dieing to read – on the other site as well.

So does the future look bright for SNS NEWS? Have the battles I have fought to keep this site alive while others fell right and left around me been in vain?

Nay I strongly vote! “Nay! No! Nanoo!”

It’s been a great first year and I’m looking forward to the next.

Baa Humbug.


{Will it live?}


Wednesday, March 22, 2006


The Yankees are playing the Red Sox!! Spring!

How many players are the Patriots planning on letting go? Adam Vinitari, David Givens, and Willie McGinest, Tim Dwight, Andre Davis, Troy Brown, Steven Neal? To add to this. The Patriots have not signed a major free agent in the whole two and a half weeks since free agency began. Why?

I do have a theory. I just don't understand the Patriots system. Tom Brady can play linebacker, Deion Branch can play nose tackle, Daniel Graham - cornerback/free safety, Corry Dillion? Guard. See... the reason we're getting rid of Adam Vinitari, David Givens, and Willie McGinest is their lack of versatility. They only play one position. I bet this new star wide receiver Reche Caldwell can backup Tom Brady!

However, I do have another theory. During the off-season Bill Belichick discovered the stock market. And he invested heavily in EBAY. In fact that's the only stock he invested in. (not a good idea...)

Crash. Thud. "woopsee..."

Three Months later. 2:37 AM, the first morning of free agency. Bill Belichick and Patriots Team owner Bob Kraft are in their situation room having coffee and doughnuts while they prepare to start the free agent bazzna:

Bob Kraft: "Ok Bill!" picking up a list of free agents that he wants to sign (or resign) "Because other then Tom, we pay all of our player below the minimal wage we're 67,000,000 under the salary cap! Haaa... wait till Bill Polian sees us steal every other free agent off the market! Haaaaa.... veee vill get revenge-"

Bill Belichick: "Uhh Bob?"

BK: "Ya? What?"

BB: "We don't have - any money. I lost it on EBAY."


BB: "Yaa... I thought we might be able to resign David Givens with the profits that I thought we would get."

BK: "NO!"

BB: "Listen, let’s just sign nobody this year. You know, we really don't need any of the guys on that list."

BK: "Jamal Lewis,Trevor Pryce,Larry Tripplett,Dexter Jackson,LeCharles Bentley,Joe Jurevicius,Jeb Putzier,Anthony Weaver,Edgerrin James,Antwaan Randle El,Chris Hope,Will Witherspoon,Larry Allen,La'Roi Glover,Keyshawn Johnson?? We can't get any of these guys?

BB: "No. And we're going to have to cut half of the team also."

BK: "NO!"

BB: "Yes."

At this point Bob Kraft begins to walk around the room with his hands planted on his head in despair.

BB: "However, I have this player in mind that might be the solution."

BK: "Please!... tell me!"

BB: "Ya, Reche Caldwell. He averages an injury a game and also has almost zero production in his career."

BK: "No! Someone else surly must have signed him already!"

BB: "His agent says he'll sign for a few billion."

BK: "Raise the offer!!"

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Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Mr Smith Goes to Washington

Ok... I watched this movie and nothing else major is going on so why not do a movie review?

First - if you've never seen the movie I'll help you out and briefly explain the plot and storyline.

1: Senator dies -needs to be replace

2: Governor told by party boss to replace the vacant spot with a party stooge.

3: Uproar:

4: After a set of weird occurrences Governor picks his kids choice for the spot - Mr. Jefferson Smith (Mr. Smith) who has zippo experience in politics. Party boss's are outraged - but their rage is tampered when they hear that he's oblivious to everything - basically - they think he's dumb and that’s great. In their own words after hearing that Mr. Smith knows nothing... "spread the news he the most qualified senator ever..."

5: Baaa -Baaaaaa....Baaa.... watch the movie yourself...

6: Party boss's learn surprisingly that Mr. Smith has a brain! And even worse a conscience that isn’t for sale. Things go down hill from here...

7: He gets backstabbed... lies start pouring in... demand for his removal from the senate... Filibuster!

8: More filibuster....... reading cookbooks.... after 27 hours of this Mr. Smith faints dramatically...

9: Bad/sort of good/Silver Knight/backstabber/lets just call him a bad guy - runs into the Senate and declares that Senator Smith is innocent, and moreover that he is the bad guy. (I say – what a supprise…)

10: Everybody is happy and live happily ever after...


Now, wasn't that brief?

The film was made in 1939 so some of the scenes are sort of choppy when it comes to footage. I also found myself using the fast re-forward button to skip over long talks scenes that lasted for-e-v---e-----r--------. Overall it was interesting though - the plot was unpredictable so there was always the element of surprise to be reckoned with unlike some of the movies of those days. Overall (I hate useing the same word twice!) it gets a not too shabby B.

The moral from the movie is filibusters are needed. And sometimes the only causes worth fighting for sometimes are the lost ones. As for the first, I always liked the idea of the filibuster. In fact I’ve actually got to do one!

Last year, when I was attending the four day subversive class on government (Teenpact), I had the opportunity to get up and speak about a bill which a fellow senator had brought up for discussion. The bill which would have made a state-wide holiday in honor of Johnny Damon, Tom Brady, the honorable John Smith Doe, and some Momackoo something was in a heated debate on the senate floor. Some unscrupulous senators even had the gall to call for a vote to cease the discussion of this important bill! I seeing the situation and the angry mobs that were crying out for the destruction…. Baaaa….baaa….baaa… I stood again, “fellow countrymen! Can thou not see the significance that this imperative bill? Can thou not hear Johnny Damon crying out from his grave! Give me this holiday – or give me – death!”...baaaa…. baaaa…

After about twenty minutes my filibuster was over but its ramifications where huge and long lasting. In direct reaction to my speech the bill was voted down by a two thirds majority.

Who says filibusters don’t work?

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Polls and other like garbage...

"Huuummmmm.... poll numbers are down.... maybe I should call off the war....."

Lets see... If they had a popularity poll for president Lincoln during the civil war what would the numbers have been? Does/did it matter? Now?

Watching the news always makes me more of a Bush fan then anything else. With all his faults - pork spending, whatever spending, spending, spending in general - he's still a great president who is trying to steer America in the right direction. And all you complainers’ - the economy is the best it’s been since forever. So not all is doom and gloom.

I would like to be among the first to welcome Philosopher to the blogging world! Your logic is needed - and will be welcome. (lets see how long you'll be able to do it though...)


Thursday, March 09, 2006

Debate update

A fair and unbias look at the 2006 S.N.O.W Debate Tournament from fair and unbias debater...

First - our record. We finished the initial rounds with a 4 & 2 record. Which was just good enough to make the playoffs. We should have been 5 & 1 though... how do I say this nice... the judges only have thirty minutes of instruction... and that’s really not long enough...

Anyways, as I was saying, we made the playoffs (8 out of 25 teams with the best records advance) and immediately faced the number one seed (top ranked team) in our first debate. We won. Now we would face (the next afternoon) one of the three teams still surviving… A showdown waited…

Next morning: 9: 35 AM. We arrive at the debate site. It’s about 38 degrees and partly sunny – however – the cool New Hampshire winter air reek’s the smells of death and disputation. I don’t know if that’s a good omen… but then again, you never know I guess…

Bad sign #1. Debate partner faints. One minute he’s leaning up against a cabinet watching a speech duo – and the next (insert “THUD!!”) he’s laying on his back with his feet up in the air. Quite literately I immediately see our chances of winning decrease by a substantial margin. “Aidan! " I whispered (must I add quietly?). "What happened?"

Aidan who was still lying on the floor with his feet still protruding up into the atmosphere like the late twin towers – looks at me and says – “what, what?”

“WHAT!?” I feel like shouting but I refrain… “What? This is no “what” this is the final four! The ceawmose! The fight for the last bag of jellybeans!”

He looks back blankly

Bad sign #2. I get stuck timing for impromptu. Ok… this is bad. I walk into a room to watch one speech – and I stay for the next hour… And just so you’ll know and understand. Impromptu speech’s are among the mind-numbing, ear-wrenching, gut- well… you get the point.

Heap Big Bad sign #3. Intelligence is indicating that the team we’re scheduled to debate is doing the same plan as us – with a twist… What’s the twist? (you may ask…) Well… That’s the question! What!?!

Bad sign #4. It’s time to debate - and Aidan can’t talk because he's feeling deathly sick. This problem though is minor compared to the fact though that the color of the carpet is a revolting baby blue!

We lost. It was a close match but they (the opposing Negative team) managed to stay on the offensive throughout most of the round while we spent too much time having to rebut their points. The team that beat us went on to win first place overall, so it’s not like this is a lost debate to commit harri karia over. And in the end – it didn’t really too (too) much. We finished number 4 (technically #3) And there’s no big advantage to winning #1 –(we already qualified for semi finals by finishing in the final 8 ) except everyone gets to hear your plan – and then goes home and get's evidence against it… Of which crime, I must plead guilty.

Next time….

{A Debate Guru Meditating on his 1AC}


Monday, March 06, 2006

The POWER of the Comma

Once there was a woman who while touring Europe one day cabled her husband back in the states a small request - "I have found a wonderful bracelet. Price (merely) seventy thousand dollars. May I buy it?”?(???....???...????...?!?)

Well... surprise, surprise... shortly later her husband cabled back, "No, price too high." However as fate would have it - the cable operator in transmitting the message - missed the signal for the comma. The woman received the message which said "No price too high."....

The woman bought the bracelet - and her husband sued the cable company.

This Sunday in the local paper someone wrote this wise note which relates to this story.

1. "Don't print anything stupid." 2. "Don't print anything, stupid."

(by the way - the top picture is an example of foot in mouth syndrome