All the news the New York Times "forgot" - to print

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Take me out to the ball game...

I went to a Pawsox game last night with H.K.P. and Comrad, plus another blogger that wish's to keep his identity secret... Well anyways, we arrived about 10 min’s before the game started and exchanged our rained out game tickets for new ones. (which actually moved us up 10 rows!) It was pretty cold - about 42 deg's with the wind whipping around the stadium. That was probably a big factor – other then that the Yankees where playing the Red Sox – for the lack of a big crowd. There were only a couple thousand and a lot of seats were empty.

To make a short story shorter. The Paw Sox won the game 2-1. Not a very high scoring game.... but pretty good never the less.

Go Yankees!!

Game begins...

3d basemanEnrique Wilson batting

Adam Stern - played on team Canada - helped them whip team USA... sounds like a great player for the Sox!
The P Sox catcher batting

Enrique Wilson - the guy A-Rod replaced

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Monday, May 22, 2006

Debate Topic madness

I can not believe that someone even thought that someone would be intrested in debating fishing law....(?) World Hunger? Very broad... NATO - just the opposite.

Team Policy

A - Resolved: That the United States government should substantially reduce world hunger.

B - Resolved: That the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) should be significantly reformed or abolished.

C - Resolved: That international fishing agreements should be significantly reformed.

All three of the LD subjects are good. Lucky them... Too bad nobobdy does LD....

Lincoln Douglas

A - Resolved: Democracy is overvalued by the United States government.

B - Resolved: Environmental protection is undervalued in the United States.

C - Resolved: That jury nullification in the United States is justified.


Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Patriots draft review


Now. I know that 98% of you who read this website will not care/know/both, on what I’m going to write about in this post so Baa Humbug to you! Sometimes you should know, I write posts that I actually like to read. So I don’t want to hear any complaining about how mean I was to write something that you care nothing about. So Baa Humbug, and go Patriots!

Awwww…. NFL draft day! A great day for both Humans and NFL fans alike… After weeks and months of speculation and guesswork, homework and tape review, finally, the shadows are cast aside! “Experts” are shamed! Self appointed NFL draft pundits – credibility thrown in garbage can… Yes!

Oh yes – and root, root, root for the home team to make some good picks…. Or it would be a shame. Because there’s 1! 2! 3! 4,5,6,7 rounds till the end of the game!!!

Lady’s and Gentlemen! My 2006 New England Patriots Draft Review!

1st Round, 21 Pick: Laurence Maroney, RB, Minnesota – The best running back in this draft – should have been drafted ahead of Reggie Bush… I was really hoping the higher ups in the Patriots organization would use this pick on him and not some defensive project. I really also like this pick here because Laurence was the player the Indianapolis Colts wanted most! Take that for stealing Adam Vinatieri!!

Well anyways, he should be the starting running back by the 2007 season if not sooner. I believe he actually will have the effect of helping Corry Dillon by giving him a breather - and Corry benefiting him by softening the defenses with his pounding style of running. Expect at least 700 yards and a handful of touchdowns in his first season.

2d Round, 4 Pick: Chad Jackson, WR, Florida – Some “draft experts” had Mr. Jackson rated as the best wide receiver in the draft – everything I read/heard pre draft from the Patriots suggested that they believed the same. He was unquestionably a big time steal with the Patriots picking him early in the second round. I think he will become the #1 receiver in the next couple of years and just when he’s at his greatest – he’ll become to expensive to keep and we’ll have to trade him to the Raiders for a third round pick.

With the Wide Receiver situation as it is Chad Jackson should start immediately. I’m thinking that he’ll have 64 receptions for 839 yards and 5 touchdowns – plus a 27 yard reverse run…

3d Round, 22 Pick: David Thomas, TE, Texas – Anyone who watched the Rose Bowl had to notice David Thomas. Just about anytime Texas needed a big first down – Vince Young threw to Mr. Thomas.

You wouldn’t find him caching any 80 yard bombs anytime soon, but you can count on him to make the short yard plays consistently 100% of the time. He should become a Tom Brady favorite quickly. He may not have the greatest statistics this season due to the fact that there are four quality TE’s on the Pat’s roster but he’ll probably end up in the 15 to 20 catch range for 300 yards this season.

4th Round, 9 Pick: Detroit Garrett Mills, TE/FB/LS/HB, Tulsa – What will he play? Tight end? Fullback? Backup Longsnapper?... He led all college football TE’s with 82 receptions – so we know he can catch. He’s not much of a risk since due to his versatile nature. Bill Belichick will find some place to use him. He had a 3.91 grade point average in business management…

4th Round, 21 Pick: Stephen Gostkowski, K, Memphis – Practice squad, or starter? Adam Vinatieri was one bad kick away from being cut by Bill Parcells… Hopefully, Gostkowski (long last name!) will have better luck his first season. He may not play this season if the Patriots don’t think he’s ready –but regardless of if he plays or not - he’s going to be a long term project.

5th Round, 3 Pick: Ryan O'Callaghan, OT, California - Patriots rule #46, never pass up a good offensive lineman in the 5th round. I really don’t know a thing about him… other then he’s big - 6-7, 344 – and plays through injuries.

6th Round, 22 Pick: Jeremy Mincey, DE/LB Florida – Mr. Mincey at 6-3, and 263 pounds is much too small to play defensive end in the NFL and will most certainly play linebacker. He’s supposed to be the eventual replacement for Willy McGinest in the future so this is more of a project pick, although he can expect to see his share of time on pass rushing downs this season.

6th Round, 36 Pick: Dan Stevenson, OG, Notre Dame – Was Notre Dames best offensive lineman, and that means something. He provides depth to an area that last year was sometimes one injury away from having Bill Belichick fill in… Plays special teams.

6th Round, 37 Pick: Le Kevin Smith, DT, Nebraska – Will be Vince Wilfork backup this year. And may have a shot of playing when the Patriots go to the occasional 4 -3 defense. He has o-k size at 6-1, 307 pounds – not traditional nose tackle size.

7th Round, 21 Pick: Willie Andrews, S, Baylor- He’s very fast but way to small to play safety in the NFL, Willie will have a chance to make himself a backup spot at cornerback and kick returner. Will have to really star on special teams to have a chance to make the team.

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Washington DC trip video

Note ~ at the end of the video the protest shown was last july's "million more march."

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Making history in history

Friday, my brother Aiden was peacefully reading his world history and drinking green tea (non FDA approved) when he happened to actually look at the book he was reading, and low and behold - he saw a fat little wasp crawling across the page. Well, Aiden after having a better look at the specimen asked me what he should do. (he say's this makes him sound dumb - really it's smart to ask me first before doing anything...)

I said simply with the eloquence of a mobster - "make it history!!"


And behold! In between pages 489 & 490 of BJ's world history the little fat beast breathed its last. Becoming history, in the pages of history. He didn't leave much of a mark on history however - the page looked fine after a trip to the garbage can...

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Friday, May 12, 2006

How much did I save?

Ok, let's see.... how much did I save from not going to Teenpact?

First - Time: Teenpact goes aprox from 9am to 4pm. That's seven hours a day - teenpact goes Monday thru Thursday - so that's about 28 hours total. Wow!

Second - Money: It would cost me $140 to go. Money that could be spent on debate stuff...

Third- Homework: 7 two page papers & two letters to state rep and senator, required reading 11o page book, two bills, state fact sheet, state of the state speech review, & about a billion other things. Plus - I would have to write my acceptance speech for winning the governor race...

Altogether - I think for me it was better to stay home…


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Well, well... Could a game go worse then that? America's team lost - and they also lost their slugging outfielder! Hideki Matsui broke his wrist while valiantly diving for a blop single in the first inning... Gary Sheffield, the Yankees leftfielder was already on the DL before the game so - that leaves us with only John Damon remaining from the day one starters. Matsui is expected to be out for at least three months - but however - he'll be back in plenty of time for the World Series which will be held in the Bronx this year...

I'm willing to play outfield and I'm currently waiting for the phone call from Brian Cashmen (great name for a Yankees GM - Cash Man....). I don’t know… I guess I'll settle for five million dollars in guaranteed money if they add a 3 million dollar signing bonus... The Yank's are also looking into the avablilty of players such as Alfonso Soriano, Torii Hunter, Bobby Abreu and Shannon Stewart. All pretty solid ballplayers.

We shall see...

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Thursday, May 11, 2006


Surprise, surprise... I'm Aslan...

All I wanted to do was to leave a comment on "someone's" blog as someone else to protest the "love of comments"...


Someone left a insulting comment about how my comment was false and "silly". I could not leave this insult to my comment unanswered so I made a website for the sole purpose of revenge...

It was fun. I think I got the point across. Don't make fun of my comments. Or you'll wish you hadn't...

Most of the battle's were in this werid lingo I know nothing about called Haiku. I think it's some sort of Japanese writing. But anyways - for example during one of these comment wars the enemy would say ~

You Silly Aslan,
Haiku; Seventeen breakups
Five, Seven and Five

Then the linking rebuttal
A mere Seven, a couplet.

But Grass grows so green...
Understand the Willow tree?
Cherry blossoms float.

Cherry blossoms in the spring,
Sakura, beautiful, Kawaii!!!

I see it and I think, "WHAT?!? Is someone out of their mind?"

And I would reply ~

You Silly Elfen Kight,
Haiku; is what I chose
Six, Seven and Five

I saw a tree
Can it walk?
Monkey escapes from zoo.

Turkish delight
Oh what a sight.
Join the side of Aslan
And be spared.

As you can see... You have to be seriously troubled to write in this language all the time...

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Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Williamsburg Video - Inside the Governors Mansion

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Red Sox vs Yankees

It always seems like the Yankees play two types of games each year - games against the Red Sox - and games against the Red Sox. It's ridiculous! Even though we beat them (the RS) in at least 306 of the 308 games we play each season I never seem to hear the end of it when ever we happen to ummmm - you know - (how shall I put it...) - ummmmm - lose. Like tonight for example. The newspapers are going to go c-r-a-z-y about tonight's game but when the Yankees win the next two- please look in section C, page 16.

The Red Sox are going down.

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Monday, May 08, 2006

Landmark moment

Winnie the Pooh turns 80!!!

I can sum up the fuzzball in one word


Pooh for President!! Pooh in 08!

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Thursday, May 04, 2006

The case for the champions!

The case for

Monkey See – Monkey Sue

written by region 10 debater Silas --------, February 4th, 2006

On April 9th, 2007 a zoo keeper misapplied a Band-Aid on a 14 month old Chimpanzee. Two hours later the Band-Aid fell off. The zoo keeper got away with paying no compensation.

On August 1st, 2003 a doctor splint the wrong leg of a 400 pound, 36 year old monkey. The Monkey suffered physical and mental pain for 12 months until someone noticed that he was using two sticks as crunches. The doctor paid no compensation even though he was thrown to the lions by the Zoo staff.

On July 51st, 2005 two monkeys were switched while being sedated before surgery. Both went to get the others operation. Both died. The hospital paid nothing. The law prohibits mammals from seeking justice in all such cases.

For this reason and so many more we – the affirmative team stand strongly resolved: That medical malpractice law should be reformed in the United States.

Observation 1- Definitions The following definitions will come from, The elite guide to knowing words, ©2006.

Medical malpractice- anything adverse that occurs that causes an animal emotional or physical distress

Significant- large, also known as a large percentage of a small class

Animalia- taxonomic kingdom comprising all living or extinct animals

Justice- a system where all, no matter of their class, income, or race are allowed a free and fair trial

Observation 2- Harms

1) 89% percent of mammals are refused justice in the current system www.zookeepers&werdosforjustice&, July 36, 2006

“In the current system, only a small percentage of the inhabitants of the United State’s are allowed a trial. In a recent Column (“Court system: picnic goodies for humans”) on the ruinous affect- ruinous to everybody but humans- of the epidemic of injustice in the court system, we noted that a large percentage of mammals are refused justice in the current system. “ 89% percent of mammals are refused justice” according to James P. Expert. “Most, if not all of these cases where mammals are hurt by medical malpractices are not filed because they simply the lack the right to a trial!”

2) Financial harms and injustice to blameless Mammals

USA Yesterday, February 14, 2006

It took the monkey just four minutes to decide he needed a trial. Can he sue for lost time, wages and the fact that his banana consumption went through the roof, (to the tune of 46,000) No!! The system does not allow for it. His losses are not recognized as an injury. The system does not view the monkey as the real victim in all cases. This is inherently unfair!

3) Injustice in the justice system, February 14, 2006

“With the prospects of 10,000 medical malpractice torts a year, and all of those suits being filed by humans, for humans; one can readily imagine the injustice in our court system which was once the envy of the world. Even if, for example, if a chimpanzee lost all the feeling in his medulla oblongata (the part of your brain that carries information) after a blotched surgical operation, he would still have no right under the current system to compensate himself for the damages done - in a trial. This at least violates the saying “monkey see, monkey do.”

Observation 3- Inherency

1) Lawyers are hypocrites for not supporting mammals being in the court system September 5th, 2006

“Think of it, if you were a monkey and you got hurt would you not want to sue? Lawyers are hypocrites for not supporting mammals being in the court system.”

2) Monkeys can only sue in the current system for hate crimes

Silas --------, (book) A legal system gone bananas, March 12th, 2000

Sad as it may seem, monkeys and other mammals can only sue if they have a hate crime done against them. For insistence, a monkey that gets peanuts throw at him because he’s a monkey could bring his case to court for a hate crime violation (code 409), but that same chimp would have absolutely no right under the current system to sue his doctor for blotching up his gastric surgery operation.

Observation 4- Plan

To solve these problems, we offer the following plan, to be implemented by any necessary constitutional means; including if so needed, abolishing the constitution.

Agency- 50 state legislatures and state courts, Zoo’s and other mammal living facilities

Mandates- All 50 states shall allow mammals to sue, insuring justice for all. Court appointed experts on mammal behaviors and sociology shall assist the mammal’s case before the court.

2: A defendant charged with committing malpractice against a mammal plaintiff shall be considered guilty until proven 190% innocent.

3: The loser side of the litigation shall pay for the other side’s banana consumption.

Funding- funding will be received through a doubling of the income tax, the death tax, and the living tax.

Enforcement- Anything/one not in compliance with this plan, by any form, way, or thought, shall be put in prison without a right to a trial. They shall have the option of a firing squad or/and He/She shall receive a sentence of 900 years, and shall eat no more then 3 portions of stale bread and garlic a day.

This plan will insure liberty and equality for all. Fulfilling what our founders intended as stated in the United States constitution, “that all… should be treated equal”.

Observation-5 Solvency

A) The potentially overwhelming costs of our plan on the legal system is not a problem

http/, Chris Matt.Yussa, PHD, Professor at all the major universities that impress debate judges, further qualifications can be made up if needed, August 51, 2007

Opponents of the Monkey See, Monkey Sue plan often charge that if mammals were allowed to bring their cases to court the costs would be overwhelming. “Good!” said Mr. Smith, Head of Trial Monkey lawyers of America; “the court could use some more areas to spend money. It’s not like the United States has a budget deposit or people are already paying enough taxes. Why, when my next-door neighbor can afford to buy food and own a car, and my other neighbor recently bought his college-age son a cardboard box to live in there’s certainly no problem with “high” taxes or anything of that sort.”

Observation-6 Advantages

1) Letting Mammals into court is an effective and easy solution to world peace.

The New Ywork Timx, Ann E. Eelldeson, Why my pet won me a million dollars – in Siberia, February 14, 2006,

There is a highly and effective and easily implemented solution to world peace. The remedy is a general allowing of mammals into court, similar to that of Siberia’s. If mammals are allowed into court they can be reimbursed for the harm caused to it; this will indeed make world peace.

2) Mammals in the court system solves for uncompensated harms in the Status Quo Walter Bernstein V. Vidmark, February 14, 2006

“As Siberia has recognized, the arguments in support of the Mammal sue principle are overwhelming. They include basic fairness, compensation of the victimized opponent, deterrence of the tactical non-right to a trial and legal maneuvers, and provision of the right to a trial to some of the most severely hurt in our society, mammals. It’s long past time this nation joins the rest of the world in adopting this principal. ”

3) 400,000 Mammals will receive instant justice from the inaction of this plan

www.snsnews/ramdompoll/, July 7, 2006

If Mammals where allowed to sue you would see literally thousands lining up to the court house door demanding to exercise their new civil right. Early estimates are around four to six hundred thousand.

So as you can see, the current system fails miserably. Mammals go uncompensated even if their hurt. Why?

Their right to sue is nonexistent.

Our plan changes that. Yes judge. And if you feel justice, freedom, liberty and the right to a trial by jury are important – then I would urge the adoption of our plan.

But the question really comes down if you where a monkey and you got hurt, would you not want to sue? That’s what our case boils down to. Justice.

Thank you and I now stand open for cross-examination.

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