All the news the New York Times "forgot" - to print

Monday, February 27, 2006

And you probably thought you took a lot of pictures...


Finally, life can get back to normal now that the Olympics are o-v-e-r---. Yes, over, gone, done, finished! The world is spared of its torments for at least two years... and then - it returns like the plague...

I will hopefully have a nice juicy post for all million and a half of you out there about the bloodcurdling, traumatic "fetal" pig dissection. The subject of so much rage by some "narniapeople"...

My brother tells me that I must add the fact that the pig wasn't even a talking pig! So there is no reason for this rage in the first place. Aslan never said their was anything wrong about about dissecting pigs. He only said not to kill "flying pigs and talking pigs. For without these -I would have lost the battle against the evil white witch. And from this day foward, let them be in charge of the spending of the money. For this is a just, and wise thing! So let it be Done!"

That's where we get the saying "pork spending" by the way...

Labels: , , ,

Monday, February 20, 2006

Dwarfphus the Timid

Ok... I'm back!

Nothing really super-duper exciting is going on right now. I have a couple of big debates coming up that will decide whether I live or die. But other then that - it's school, and more school. I have been spending a ton of the time I would normally be thinking of ideas to blog about on developing strategy’s to defeat evil plans to reform medical malpractice law - ummm - I spent some time working on this plan - tell me what you think about it? (good? no?)

I am planning on getting back to some Narnia stuff soon. One of our research teams has uncovered an ancient scroll describing the last days of the White Witch's rule of Narnia. Much of it is so depleted that it is just about impossible to translate, but we are sure that it is authentic. We believe it was written by a dwarf called Dwarfphus. He was according to the manuscript on the White Witch’s side until the battle in which he and about fifty other dwarfs where chased into a small underground cave where rather then face capture and humiliation they tossed lots to decide who would kill each other and thus committed mass suicide/whatever you want to call it. Well it turns out that this Dwarfphus drew the lot to be the last one to die – and he chickened out - and was subsequently captured alive. But hey, at least he lived to write the story… Hopefully I will be able to enlighten you further on this hidden fact of Narnian history. And remember, you heard it here first.

Labels: ,

Thursday, February 16, 2006

And my political post for the week is...

Go Laffey!


Monday, February 13, 2006

Olympic Madness

"Da-da-da,da,da,da Da-da,Da-dadadaladadadada!. Da-da,da,da,dadadadadad!!!! Da – Da –Da -" How long must I suffer from hearing that!?!?(?)

Now, clearing up some fact... I do not hate the Olympics. I simply just do not care that much. Or rather, I care just about as much as I care about all the Red Sox. It simply doesn't matter. I would not notice if I missed one. Watching someone sliding around on a board with razor blades attached is not really that fun. And most of the competitions are races against a clock. Boring... (snore...) However, I am in a precarious situation because, as of right now - football is over, baseball still has a month and a half before takeoff, and I haven't watched a basketball game for a century and I don't plan on watching one now -Hockey well... basically –as far as sports- right now there is nothing. But as I was saying, I am in a precarious situation because I have siblings that actually watch the Olympics. And strangely, enjoy them. Yaaa... strange... Now don't worry, I'm watching them closely -so I will call the guys in the white coats as soon as I get definite proof that they have gone mad. But that is the problem. I am watching them -meaning I sit and watch the Olympic with them... (awww… 8:00 o’clock, must go now…)…(later) …This may be my last post... I'm starting to feel lightheaded... I can - feel - must not look -at -- TV... AWWwwwwwwww! – NOOoooooooooo!!..

Believe it or not, I have written about the Olympics before...

{Snow! Finally...}

Labels: ,

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Something are hard to understand...

But this one is easy...

You know... even though I've never listen to a minute of rap music in my life, I do an o-k job of composing it...

Labels: ,

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

And after all I’ve done…?

Ok. I know some people are still going to believe what they want to believe just because they want to believe it –but this (the below article) is going a little far. Must I write a book called Slander? Do I have to go on a speaking tour? Shall I petition the Supreme Court? The White Witch has been slandered and maligning by those seeking to push Aslans agenda - world domination. I feel compelled as an American citizen to clear the record and set things straight. Some though sadly, still must wickedly push their propaganda. And I feel outnumbered… But so was Elijah (1 Kings 1, 10…) Try counting the falsehoods below… (I may help along the way…)

The Rule of the White Witch - From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The land of Narnia was in peace for hundreds of years after its creation.(true, true – very true!) This peace lasted until, eventually, Jadis the Witch-Queen returned. (What?) Known then as the White Witch, she reigned as a tyrant, turning anyone who disobeyed her into stone with her wand (WHAT??). She did, however, favor the dwarves and evil beasts of Narnia (in the last days men shall call evil good, and good evil…).

Using magic,(technology please?) she covered the land in ice and snow for one hundred years, making it "always winter and never Christmas". Although Jadis claimed to be Queen of Narnia and Chatelaine of Cair Paravel she had her own fortress in the north where her halls were full of the statues of Narnians she had turned to stone. (Irrelevant thesis... what does having statues in your house have to do with being a Queen? Sometimes these guys sound a lot like the democrats... Ted Kennedy, "Mr. Alto, I found numerous busts of people in your house when I went touring it last night while you where gettting grilled by my esteemed comrade Senator Briar. Do you realize that this makes you unqualified to serve as a justice?)

But she watched out for a prophecy that might come true; "when Adams flesh and Adams bone sit on Cair Paravel in throne, the evil time will be over and done." To make sure no humans came into Narnia she set up spies (I find no evidence for this, even in the book) to watch out for humans. Thankfully for the good Narnians one of her spies, the faun Tumnus(Mr. Machiavelli…) befriended Lucy when she came into Narnia, and she and her siblings managed to reach Aslan before she could kill them.(she had one of the kids half of the time? If she wanted to kill them so badly why didn’t she just start right away with him?)

Jadis' reign officially ended when Aslan returned to Narnia and the ice and snow melted, but the Queen shamelessly and stubbornly still demanded she was Queen. (the queen claims to be Queen. How shocking!) That only lasted a matter of days before she was killed at the battle of Beruna. (she was on Beat the Press only about a month ago. And she seemed quite alive…)


Long live Video Blogging!... which is coming soon... Long live Steelers! Long live any team playing the Paul Allan owned Seahawks!!

A life lesson. Vote the wrong people into office, and soon there won't be an office to vote people into. See, I told you so...


Friday, February 03, 2006

Just so you know I'm alive

This is an actual picture of me playing with my younger siblings (Star Wars, I think... they all got light sabers for Christmas). Hey! It wasn't my idea...

{"I have forseen it!"}

We're almost ready to do video blogging.(should be up within seven days) I can't wait!

And here's some music from the Carnegie Hall concert (kind of late...) ... remember, I am not responsible for the set volume on your personal desktop!