All the news the New York Times "forgot" - to print

Saturday, September 10, 2005

"And representing North Korea..."

Ok. I'm not as bad as to support an evil communist country in the Olympics; however I am not with out a dark sense of humor. A couple of weeks ago I heard from one of my siblings that I would be involved in an homeschooler’s regional Olympics. And I was also informed that my family ( a berry small one) would be representing a country. The first one that came to my mind was Iran, the second in pres. Bush’s Axis of Evil, but however the girls in my family didn’t want to have to race in burkais so alas, Iran was scratched.(!)

A few other countries names floated around for a few thousand second’s until my Machiavellian mind conceived just the right one. The land where no one is overweight, and the clement ideal for running (away from the secret police mostly). The land of the “One Blessed Leader, our Kim Jong-il, the Great provider of a meal a day!.. North Korea. The plot was agreed on by the multitudes and my diabolic plan set.

Saturday morning 8:30 am: Arrive at the Olympic site and after a few apprehensive moments of shaking off a CIA agent that had been shadowing us all morning, returned to the van and snuck out the beloved flag. And of course while dodging too and fro to conceal myself from an
Apache helicopter hovering above strafing where he thought I was, my only concern was to be especially careful not to let its lovely fringes touch the ground.

After bursting through the gate in a zest of zeal, (the area was a no fire zone) I calmly proceed to the sign-in table and gave my name, country and family, and handed the flag to one of my siblings (my fellow countrymen). When the opening ceremony came around we came out after China, so we weren’t alone in our quest for communism.

Now I can’t think of a good end to this story, and to be humble, all we did was to break millions of world records in track and field. But I must say, the greatest lesson I learned from this event was to never underestimate, undervalue, underrate, misjudge, miscalculate, or take too lightly the fact that when you win, that means you didn’t lose…


Blogger High King Peter said...

Where's Kim?

Saturday, 10 September, 2005  
Blogger DJ said...

Probably drinking pepsi in a secure bunker.

Anyway, that little korean girl looked a little different than I thot. Maybe Kim is experimenting with genetics as well as nuclear stuff? Or was she a secret agent to infiltrate the US and cause havoc at the most oppurtune time?

And why didn't your sisters want to wear burkas? You know how cheap those things are? Just buy a potato sack and stick on some colored stripes! Voila, buy a million and one outfits for the price of 3. Sounds like a steal to me...

Sunday, 11 September, 2005  
Blogger Gayle said...

You were nice enough to visit my blog, so this is a courtesy call. :)
I'm not able to comment on your posts, other than to say they are well written and I enjoy your pictures, because I'm not a sports fan and therefore am unable to comment on them. But I am qualified to say it looks like a great blog for sports fans!

Sunday, 11 September, 2005  
Blogger Tash said...

No, the 'most blessed one' is sipping coke in his bunker. Not Pepsi.
You are probably aware how Kim had a program to capture citizens from foreign countries. Especially Japan. She most likely belongs to a sleeper group. But I'm really not sure.

As far as your money saving scam , I'll mention it to them and see if they see the possibilities in it.

Monday, 12 September, 2005  

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