Finally!

The Yankees are playing the Red Sox!! Spring!

How many players are the Patriots planning on letting go? Adam Vinitari, David Givens, and Willie McGinest, Tim Dwight, Andre Davis, Troy Brown, Steven Neal? To add to this. The Patriots have not signed a major free agent in the whole two and a half weeks since free agency began. Why?

I do have a theory. I just don't understand the Patriots system. Tom Brady can play linebacker, Deion Branch can play nose tackle, Daniel Graham - cornerback/free safety, Corry Dillion? Guard. See... the reason we're getting rid of Adam Vinitari, David Givens, and Willie McGinest is their lack of versatility. They only play one position. I bet this new star wide receiver Reche Caldwell can backup Tom Brady!

However, I do have another theory. During the off-season Bill Belichick discovered the stock market. And he invested heavily in EBAY. In fact that's the only stock he invested in. (not a good idea...)

Crash. Thud. "woopsee..."

Three Months later. 2:37 AM, the first morning of free agency. Bill Belichick and Patriots Team owner Bob Kraft are in their situation room having coffee and doughnuts while they prepare to start the free agent bazzna:

Bob Kraft: "Ok Bill!" picking up a list of free agents that he wants to sign (or resign) "Because other then Tom, we pay all of our player below the minimal wage we're 67,000,000 under the salary cap! Haaa... wait till Bill Polian sees us steal every other free agent off the market! Haaaaa.... veee vill get revenge-"

Bill Belichick: "Uhh Bob?"

BK: "Ya? What?"

BB: "We don't have - any money. I lost it on EBAY."

BK: "EBAY?"

BB: "Yaa... I thought we might be able to resign David Givens with the profits that I thought we would get."

BK: "NO!"

BB: "Listen, let’s just sign nobody this year. You know, we really don't need any of the guys on that list."

BK: "Jamal Lewis,Trevor Pryce,Larry Tripplett,Dexter Jackson,LeCharles Bentley,Joe Jurevicius,Jeb Putzier,Anthony Weaver,Edgerrin James,Antwaan Randle El,Chris Hope,Will Witherspoon,Larry Allen,La'Roi Glover,Keyshawn Johnson?? We can't get any of these guys?

BB: "No. And we're going to have to cut half of the team also."

BK: "NO!"

BB: "Yes."

At this point Bob Kraft begins to walk around the room with his hands planted on his head in despair.

BB: "However, I have this player in mind that might be the solution."

BK: "Please!... tell me!"

BB: "Ya, Reche Caldwell. He averages an injury a game and also has almost zero production in his career."

BK: "No! Someone else surly must have signed him already!"

BB: "His agent says he'll sign for a few billion."

BK: "Raise the offer!!"