All the news the New York Times "forgot" - to print

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

"Booo hurricane! Go home! shooo..."

Now I understand that most of my readers are most likely right leaning when it comes to politics, so I ask that you not be offended by my omission that I believe pres. Bush was responsible for anything bad that happened due to hurricane Katrina. In fact, I think he could have stopped Katrina by utilizing some of my ideas. There’s no excuse for not being able to stop a little hurricane, period. When you’re the president you’re supposed to be able to do anything, and everything. (I haven't been talking seriously, but don’t they usually promise to do everything to become president in the first place? Cut taxes, raise taxes, reform this, reform that, esc). Anyways, this is how I would have done it, and how pres. Bush should have stopped the monster.

6 ways Bush could have stopped Katrina:

1: He could have had Howard Dean scream at it.

2: He could have had the New Orleans Mayor dress up like Charles Heston (Moses) and wave his staff at the storm to frighten it away.

3: He could have promised to lower CO2 emissions

4: He possibly could have had Indiana Jones lasso it away from the gulf coast with his versatile bull whip (which of course he always carries with him).

5: He most certainly could have dropped a nuke on it. Although this might contradict with number three…

6: And finally, He could have used the school buses to strengthen the levies…


Hey, my brother just asked me a great question, so I'll give it to you too. What Book of the Bible introduces 'modern language'? Try to figure it out on your own. I'll post the answer on the comment section later tonight.



8 Comments:

Blogger The Phantom of The Opera said...

tash, you write great satire. I sincerely mean that. You should start a blog like cfav or something.

Tuesday, 20 September, 2005  
Blogger Prince Caspian said...

How would #3 stop it?

Wednesday, 21 September, 2005  
Blogger Tash said...

Phantom of the opera
Thanks for the compliment. CFAV is mostly garbage. I do however have a link to it on my computer tabs section liberal blogs, which on occasion I do open up and see what their jawing about. If you haven’t noticed (and I’m not saying you should have, one of my staff showed it to me just last week) the format of the blog rotates between sports, news, and stories (SNS). So this post was my ‘news’ post. And the main rule for a ‘news’ (you could say opinion ) is that it has to be original…

Prince Caspian
How would #3 stop it?? Well as you surly know, Mother Nature is very angry with us for throwing rocks at the ocean and other mean nasty stuff like stepping on dirt. But her biggest pet peeve is CO2 emissions. Ohhhhh, we must learn to listen to Mother Nature before its too late and the sky falls on us or something…

For the answer to my Bible quiz, Dude-aronomy (Deuteronomy) is the first book in the world it introduce modern language.

Thursday, 22 September, 2005  
Blogger Prince Caspian said...

Yea,now I understand... I think...?!(M.N)?! Whatever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, 22 September, 2005  
Anonymous SingleMind said...

You are forgetting something: Bush caused that hurricane intentionally.

He has this Weather Control Center (WCT) in the Pentagon, and it is responsible for creating all manners of natural disasters.

Bush, Rumsfeld and Cheney intentionally conspired to unleash these hurricanes on the gulf coast. They did this so they could

(1) drive up the price of oil and profit generously

(2) get large rebuilding contracts for Halliburton

(3) kill lots of poor and black people.

:::taking tongue out of my cheek now::::

At least, that's what the kooks on the left would have you believe.

Saturday, 24 September, 2005  
Blogger Prince Caspian said...

Yes, and am sure Bush also did it to knock up his approval rating( said sarcastically).

Saturday, 24 September, 2005  
Anonymous SingleMind said...

Bush also conspired to remove those tags off your mattress, so he could send in federal agents and prosecute you for felonies.

Saturday, 24 September, 2005  
Blogger Tash said...

You've got the right idea!

Saturday, 24 September, 2005  

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