Jamestown

Jamestown - the little city in the swamp -

Dark storm clouds covered the astrosphere as I rode to the first successful (major) settlement in America - Jamestown. Knowing I was about to embark on a trek through a area that once boasted a 1 in 7 survival rate for it's residents, I was careful to contact a lawyer to finalize my will (and last testament). I felt this same sense of doom was with all the members of the party I was traveling with as we drove by a gate that had a cheerful but menacing "Welcome to Jamestown!"

Thunder Clap.

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Cut, cut, cut, Cut, CUT!!!.... Let’s try that over again...
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It was a bestial April day as I gracefully leaped out of the van onto the vintage asphalt parking
lot that I suppose was laid by the first settlers of Jamestown- the purpose of this expedition by the way. (did you know I was writing about Jamestown?) After going through the usual ticket process, we spilled (we were in a group of about 130 people) onto the first historical crime scene - the "native America" reenactment site. I looked around for about a total of sixty seconds and I seen all I need to see. It's badly done. The sets are bad and even more, the actors are unrealistic.

Grade - C

Moving on to the actual settlement, the first thing I noticed was that everything was way (way) too clean. If you've ever gone to Plymouth Plantation then you'll know what I'm taking about - Plymouth makes you feel like you're actually back in time walking around and at any moment you could come across a dead animal still waiting to be processed - Jamestown on the other hand looks like a abode with no kids and a full time housekeeper! Ridiculous... Again the actors are fake (I almost used unbelievable…). The buildings are nice and almost (almost) real - but as I stated - everything is too nice and neat which = in my ratings a very bad no, no.

Someone please buy them a dirt blower and some pigs.

Grade - (I'll be nice) - C+