All the news the New York Times "forgot" - to print

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Did you know?

If you haven't already noticed, the Declaration of Independence is obviously unconstitutional. When Thomas Jefferson wrote it, he declared that all men are "endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights."

Don't you see the conflict here? Jefferson was a Creationist. The arrogancy! The close-mindedness!


Anyone with the nerve to imply that some outside Force brought the universe into existence is obviously fit to be hanged. Or, if already dead, should have his coffin unearthed and his bones burned with fire on the White House lawn, with full video coverage from C-SPAN.

The ramifications of this are far-reaching. Just think, if the Declaration of Independence is unconstitutional, then the U.S. is still a British colony.


And if America is still a British colony, then the British Crown is our Lord, and His statutes the supreme laws of the land.

Which leads me to my next point: The Constitutional is obviously unconstitutional.

(Don't tell Michael Nudoff.)

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9 Comments:

Blogger DJ said...

All I have to say is that I'm not saying anything like "Bonny Prince Charlie" or any such stuff...

Monday, 17 October, 2005  
Blogger DJ said...

And, I'm not drinking tea with my pinky tipped up either...

Monday, 17 October, 2005  
Blogger Rex Tyrannus said...

But I like tea! Just take this as an insider's tip to buy Lipton Stock.

Monday, 17 October, 2005  
Anonymous blackstallion589 said...

Does this mean that we all need to start talking with a British accent?
British:
Can I av' a spot o' tie?
American:
May I please have some tea?

Monday, 17 October, 2005  
Blogger Tash said...

All of thou shalt appear before the king to prove that thou art no American traitor!!!

God save the Queen!!

Tuesday, 18 October, 2005  
Blogger Rebekah said...

Wow, I didn't know that... looks like Liberals have a lot of work to do! Seriously, by their standards, EVERYTHING could be considered unconstitutional.

Tuesday, 18 October, 2005  
Blogger DJ said...

Give Me Liberty, or Give Me DEATH!!!
[unless there are millions just for me involved, heh, heh, heh]

Tuesday, 18 October, 2005  
Anonymous Paul said...

To paraphrase a great songrwriter...

God Save the Queen..... the fascist regime... ;)

Wednesday, 19 October, 2005  
Blogger Prince Caspian said...

You can go tell that to the Supreme Court, they would probable believe it.

Wednesday, 19 October, 2005  

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