All the news the New York Times "forgot" - to print

Friday, June 03, 2005

How to show your book to a Liberal. (if you must.)

Last night I was chaperoning my sister to the play Oklahoma in which she was playing viola. This was the second night in a row I had done this due to the back to back practices at night. The previous night during a fight scene a razor blade went flying into the musicians pit and hit a violinist. She was not hurt but all the buzz gave the play an element it had been lacking throughout; excitement!

The second night I sat outside the room the play was being practiced in and read Ann Coulters How To Talk To A Liberal (if you must.). There were also a couple of other book huggers (of by the way I am not.) reading as well. After about an hour of peaceful book reading another book aficionado came in our presence and demanded to see what books everyone was reading and if we would recommend them to read. Both of the ladies across from where I was sitting held up their books for her to see and she gave her facial approval. Both of the books where novels one of them being The Plot Against America. By this time I could tell that everyone in the room except for me where most likely liberals. So when it came my turn for the intrusive lady to ask”so what are you reading??’’ I didn’t know what to say. If I show them that I am reading Ann Coulters book they might just scratch me to death. And if I don’t show them it they just might scratch me to death anyways then and destroy the book. And then we would have to pay the library for it. What I ended up doing was I just kept thinking of the democrats’ motto for the last fourteen years, Tolerance, even for crazy people! I was hoping they where aware of that theme as I held bravely stuck up my book and said cheerfully “Don’t look.’’ Which of course is the wrong thing to say if you actually don’t want anyone to look, it just forces them to. Well you should have seen them react! They would have probably looked less surprised if I had turned into a jelly fish. All of their lips read "How Shocking! How Rude! How Intolerant!!"

(By the way, I did not get scratched to death and was very lucky Miss intrusive did not come later after I switched books to the evil study of microeconomics. (lady) "aaaaaaa! Get him! He’s a capitalist!!")

2 Comments:

Anonymous Darth said...

SOOOOOO Funny!!

Sunday, 05 June, 2005  
Blogger Queen of lilyflowers said...

funny, funny funny, funny!

Sunday, 05 June, 2005  

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