All the news the New York Times "forgot" - to print

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Sweet morning surprise's...

Subtitled: The judgement of Aslan stikes again!

This morning, a hornet woke me up by stinging me on the wrist... It could have been worse becauseI didn’t automatically put the pain and my brain together, and I mistakenly thought I was having a blood clot of all horrors!(forgive me, I had just woken up.) And I knew that those were no fun, so I just sat up in by bed and looked at my arm vigilantly. But woe! Of course its six’o clock in the morning, so I can't see anything, and to add to the ruckus, the alarm clock goes off... But however friends and foes, I, Tash, luckily, am not prone to panic. And also fortunately for myself, I do not fear little insects such as spiders, bees, hornets, centipedes, or those little pinching bugs either. And it’s a very good thing because just a milly second later I see crawling across my pillow an overgrown hornet preparing for me to set my head back down on the pillow for another sweet surprise.

{One big bug: the picture was taken by my brave brother.}

Valiantly forgetting my pain for the moment, I said to the hornet, "my friend. Why, pray thou, dost you assail me in such an unflattering manner? Ya, thou make's me believe that thou art one of those who goes to and fro causing pain and suffering." And then I ceremonially took the pillow he/she (how can we know?) was perched on and threw it off the bed, to say it more accurately – I threw it off a triple bunk bed... And with evil and diabolic thoughts of joy, in that I had not gotten stung twice so far - I smashed the poor beastly.

As Gimli would say "Ladies and Gentlemen, you are reading the words of a murderer."

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Blogger Queen of lilyflowers said...

Sounds wonderful.

Wednesday, 02 November, 2005  
Blogger Gayle said...

Hysterical Tash! Funny post. 'Tho I know it wasn't funny at the time it happened. But it shows your sense of humor that you can take a not so good thing and turn it into a comical story.

Thursday, 03 November, 2005  
Anonymous blackstallion589 said...

Tash, how mean, you killed one of God's inocent little creatures that was only trying to protect himself! I am in disgust!
Imagine how awfull it must have been for the poor hornet!

Friday, 04 November, 2005  
Anonymous blackstallion589 said...

who took the picture of the lion?

Friday, 04 November, 2005  
Blogger Tash said...

QoLF: Wonderful?? Wonderful???(?)

Gayle: Thanks! In fact about a minute after getting stung, I was already trying to think of a good title for the post.


I shell issue my statement of repentance today on CSPAN.

Later... "Sob, sob, snifffffff... I'm soo sorry.... I'm just sooooo sorry. People of America, I killed -(sobs and more sniffles) - I killed - a hornet. A little fat, overgrown, innocent hornet... I'm just sooo sorry...." Then I completely brake down and have to be carried off stage.

As for the picture, I took it at the S.L. zoo. It is Aslan sleeping while Narnia is being destroyed by - me!!!! HaAAAAA!!! WWWWWoooooo!!! Narnia! In my GripS!!! WOOOOOOOooooo...

Saturday, 05 November, 2005  

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