All the news the New York Times "forgot" - to print

Thursday, April 26, 2007

SNS News - 2007 NFL Mock (Mock) Draft

-------1) The Oakland Raiders pick with the first overall selection of the 2007 NFL Draft bottle consumer/actual position unknown Ingrid*

Very smart choice for the Raiders to not trade down and instead take the best player available in the Draft. Ingrid can't do much but what she can do is meaningful, if anyone could figure out exactly what meaningful contribution she can bring to the Raiders. "I bring a lot of things to the Raiders,"Ingrid said in a post draft conference call with reporters. "I can almost crawl, almost talk and my bottle drinking skills are el la m'ucho - unsurpassed - the best in my class!" She certainty looks to be receiving a lot of bottles from current Raiders quarterback Jeff George in 2007 as the Raiders broke the record for most 4th quarter crybaby losses and hope to further that record this year. "We're a young team man," Jeff George said. "I mean like, when I was around our star player wasn't a 8 month year old carrying and receiving bottles for touchdowns. I guess you could say it's like 19th century phomoma man."

Grade: A - Still lingering questions about weight.

--------2) The Detroit Lions pick with the second overall selection of the 2007 NFL Draft - now former Patriots Vice President and Player Personnel manager Scott Pioli

In order to have a good draft in the first place you need to have someone that knows how to actually draft better then special team role players with a top 10 pick. Pioli fills a need greater then any other on a Lions team that has been eaten alive by Vikings, and torn apart by Bears in the last few decades.

Grade: B - Team also needed to address holes at cornerback, safety, linebacker, defensive line, wide receiver, tight end, quarterback, running back and punter.

--------3) The Cleveland Browns pick with the third overall selection of the 2007 NFL Draft - now former Patriots Head Couch Bill Belichick

Welcome back! Cleveland Herald headline "Beloved Bill Returns Again".... Wait till the first loss though...

Grade F -
Belichick announces surprise retirement after hearing draft news

---------4) The Tampa Bay Buccaneers pick with the forth overall selection of the 2007 NFL Draft - Calvin Johnson, wide receiver from Georgia Tech.

How can you draft an actual player when you still have Al Gore available at this spot? This pick makes no sense at all. One NFL personal director that I met while walking down the radio ally described the pick as a "a typical Tampa Bay wasted pick on a player with some upside but hardly any negatives or character issues."

Grade F - With Al Gore still available any other player is a bad pick. Plus, Johnson is an unproven product. In his entire lifetime he has never once played in a NFL game. To many questions and not enough sure answers to pull the trigger on Johnson so I give the Buc’s an F. Sorry.

---------5) The Arizona Cardinals pick with the fifth overall selection of the 2007 NFL Draft - Al Gore

The Cardinals have been lacking big time player since the earth started getting a half degree higher. Gore can scare opposing teams no matter where he lines up and is a constant threat to fool opposing defensive players into thinking that their melting like the polar bears and then running by them as they stand there like icebergs.

Grade A+ - Brilliant pick and the Cardinals will be holding a meeting with the Pope tomorrow to thank him for helping Gore drop this far to their pick.

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