All the news the New York Times "forgot" - to print

Saturday, April 30, 2005

Old Quick Takes.

Hello everyone! I could not think about anything to write about today, so just like some the rest of you out there I decided to just steal what someone else had already wrote. This time the victim was world magazine’s Quick Takes article. In which as some of you know they give sometimes the most important news in the whole magazine. I believe for the most part all these stories are true so enjoy!! (Unless of course you already have been getting World magazine, in which case you will be grinding your teeth in rage.)

Monsters Rights

1‘’Note to tourists in Sweden: Don’t kill a giant serpent that has the head of a dog and fin on its neck. The mythical monster, which supposedly lives in Sweden’s Lake Storsjoen, is officially on the country’s endangered species list. Parliamentary investigators last week discovered a 1986 local court ruling that made it a crime to kill the animal or harm its eggs. They say Parliament may set aside the ruling.”

Warning Abuse

2’’The winner of the wackiest consumer warning label of the year was found affixed to a toilet brush: ‘’ Do not use for personal hygiene.’’ The caution took top honors in an annual contest by Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch to show how corporate liability-phobia results in the ridiculous. Ed Gyetvai, of Oldcastle, Ont., won $500 for the toilet-brush submission. Second prize, $250, went for a label on a children’s scooter that said, ‘’This product moves when used.’’

Sound off.

3’’America’s telemarketers don’t think Dave Berry is funny. Not after the popular Miami Herald humor columnist asked readers to call the American Teleservices Association’s 800 number. ‘’I’m sure they’d love to hear your constitutionally protected views!’’ Mr. Berry wrote. ‘’Be sure to wipe your mouthpiece afterward.’’
Readers responded to the call, flooding the switchboard and forcing the telemarketing group to screen its calls. The ATA called Mr. Barry’s stunt malicious, and the Pulitzer winner apologized-sort of. ‘’I feel just terrible,’’ he said, ‘’especially if they were
eating or anything.’

What’s next?

Soon I guess the military is going to have to put warnings on flame throwers that say‘’ not to be
used for warming MRE’s.’’ Do any of you out there have any more utterly important warnings you can think of?


Anonymous Ellan said...

So true! cats just want to kill.

Monday, 02 May, 2005  
Blogger pennyjean said...

HaHaHaHaHaHa (this is me laughing)

Wednesday, 04 May, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thats you for real... I thought it was
the cats laughing! so funny I wonder why I get so mixedup with you and your cats. ttys


Sunday, 08 May, 2005  

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