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Thursday, April 28, 2005

Beat the Press transcript May 37 2005.

Johnnie Damon on Beat the Press

Host of beat the press. ''Welcome back everyone to Beat the Press, and today our special

Guest is Johnnie Damon. Johnnie so glad you could be here.''

Johnnie Damon. ''I am so like, glad, to be like here, like too.''

Host ‘’ So my first question is when do you plan to cut your hair.’’

Johnnie Damon. ‘’Well first of all Tim, I have to tell the world something I have been keeping hidden for the last one or two years.’’

Host. ‘’What?’’

Johnnie Damon. ‘’I have an unusual disease which cause’s me not to be able to grow hair.’’

Host. ’’What?’’

Johnnie Damon. ‘’ I have been wearing a wig.’’

Host. ‘’How, what, Johnnie?’’

Johnnie Damon. ‘’Yes, since around the 2003 season.’’

Host. ‘’So all this time, you been like pretending to have hair?’’

Johnnie Damon. ‘’Yes well I kept it pretty well hidden for a long time. But my cover was almost blown in the ALCS when big mouth Kevin Muller got mad and said.' I want to surprise the United States of America'. He wasn’t talking about winning four games in a row he was going to expose my facade.’’

Host. ‘’Why would he do this?’’

Johnnie Damon. ‘’Maybe because I was like batting 2 for 76. He might also my have been angry at me for dropping my batting weights on his foot earlier.’’

Host. ’’So why didn’t Kevin spill the secret?’’

Johnnie Damon. ‘’We gagged him with Terry Francons A,B,C gum. Just pored it in has mouth; and you know what. He didn’t stop chewing it until he coughed it up after a World Series post game press conference. The rest is history.’’

Host.’’ What a wonderful story!’’

Johnnie Damon ‘’yaa like. And it’s all in my new book, My Prison Beneath the Helmet.It has lots of good of good recipes for toe nails.’’

Host ‘’yumm! I can smell and taste them now. Thank you Mr. Damon for being on my show, and when we come back Ted Washington will show us the top ten doughnut shops in the country. don’t move.’’

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

YOU ARE SO FUNNY! SILAS!

Thursday, 28 April, 2005  
Blogger Rex Tyrannus said...

Silas, you need to start with a photo at the top of your blog. It's boring otherwise, no matter how funny the story is. You need it to draw readers in.

Friday, 29 April, 2005  
Anonymous narniachick said...

funnnnnnnnnyyyyy!

Wednesday, 28 December, 2005  
Anonymous So funny! said...

That is so Funny!

Tuesday, 31 January, 2006  

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